Gotcha!

When we returned, we hit the ground running with end-of-the-year activities.  Field Day was one of them.  The kids made cute shirts in their classes. Mia’s has a caterpillar on the front. 

PJ won the second place ribbon for the first grade sack race. 

After lunch the kids all headed to the pool at a neighboring camp to swim. We forgot Mia’s swim suit. At least I had an extra swim shirt and she fits into Ty’s shorts. PJ proved he’s not only fearless but that he’s a strong enough swimmer this year to jump off the diving board. 

After swimming we finished out a great day with popsicles and awards. PJ won the second place ribbon for the first grade sack race. 

Me: What are your ears for?

Ty: Listening.

Me: What is the chair for?

Ty: Sitting.

Patrick: What are your eyes for?

Ty: Looking.

Patrick: What is your nose for?

Ty: Picking.

Not-Me-Monday is a blog carnival started by MckMama. Hop over to her blog to see what others have NOT done this week.

I did NOT travel to the other side of the globe to pick up our third child, take hundreds of pictures, and only get one of our whole family of 5.

It did NOT look like this…

So we’ve been back in States for one year today with Ty.  Adopting a toddler has been everything I thought it might be and lots of things I never dreamed of.  The last year has zoomed by and when I get discouraged at how much progress we’re not making it only takes a minute (ok, sometimes it takes hours) for me to remember how far we’ve come in just a short year.  To put it in perspective, Ty lived longer in Korea with Foster Family #2 than he’s lived here with us.

When asked what it’s like to bring a non-English speaking toddler into your home, I often reply it was much easier than birthing a newborn but sometimes I reply it was the hardest thing we’ve ever done.

Here are the +’s and -’s as I see them.

+’s

• Sleeping through the night after a couple weeks.
• Going to bed with the “normal” routine after a couple months.
• Potty-trained within a year.
• Young enough to transition to English easily even when faced with a major speech processing error.
• Came walking and communicating and much more independent than a newborn.

-’s

• Rules and relationship have to happen simultaneously.  Just like it takes hundreds of compliments to blot out a criticism, it takes hundreds of deposits into the relationship bank for each time a rule is reinforced.
• Too young to really understand what’s going on but old enough to know what’s going on (i.e., you’re taking me from the only family I’ve ever known and I liked being with them).
• Old enough so that we had expectations (like he’d be feeding himself) which, in turn, meant we could be easily frustrated when those expectations weren’t met.
• That awful feeling when we walked out of Holt on April 23, 2009 that we’d just kidnapped someone’s child.

Oh, and featured child did NOT have poop accidents while we were out (without at diaper bag) twice last week.  I did NOT take him out in public in just a shirt and underwear after one incident just like I did NOT wash his clothes out in cold water and make him put them back on the second time.

Then…

Now…

Click here to view this photo book.

Ty: Jesus,  dank you I had… What’s dat called ‘gain, Mom?

Me: What is what called again?

Ty: Pich

Me: Pitch?

Ty: No, piiiich (pinching fingers together)

Me:  Pinch?

Ty: No.  Missue.

Me:  Miss Sue?

Ty:  Yah.  Dank you ‘at Miss Sue today.

Me:  Ooooooh.  Speech.  Is that what you were saying?

Ty:  Yah.  Dank you I had pee-sch today.

Less than a year ago, we were fighting for him to repeat two simple words at prayer time…”Jesus, Amen.”

Ty playing constructively (pun not intended).  Not whining.  Not running away. Not bugging.  Just playing.  What a difference a year makes!

There is so much beauty in dirty little hands.

And the smiles that accompany them.

Then there’s Mia who picked right up where she left off last year.

Collecting worms.

To date, Ty has …

…been through 3 speech therapists.  (For transition reasons, not because he’s Ty )

…completed a 9-month course of anti-TB treatment that was the bane of my existence.

…grown over an inch.

…started talking in full sentences.

…potty-trained!! (It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you’re stuck at home for a week).

This past Sunday, we had the privilege of celebrating his baptism into God’s covenant family.  The outfit he is wearing is a traditional Korean costume called a hanbok.

~ ”datch-a-giggles?” = Watch Wiggles?

~”gook!”= Look!

~”poop-ease”=”soup, please?”

~”I anna pay dat”= I wanna play that

~”Ghee-ga”=Grandma or Grandpa

~”Gakin, Pipee, peese”=Napkin or wipee, please

On the plus side, he’s finally saying “PJ” instead of “Eebee.”

~Aside:  The fact that Ty is adopted has made figuring him out a constant game of second guessing ourselves and over analyzing life.   Speech and hearing specialists claim his speech is fabulous for someone with “8-month-old English ears.”   Excuse me?  He may have only heard English for 8 months, but he’s 3-YEARS-old.  Does that count for something?  Do we take him to an occupational therapist about his eating and sensory integration issues only to have them say, it could be part of his adjustment?  Well, yes, it could.  But when do we stop blaming every concern on his adoption and adjustment?  Probably never.  I’m not sure how I feel about that.  While I don’t want to minimize his trauma or dismiss his feelings, I feel like adoption (especially international) gets a bad wrap for being the root cause of so many issues–especially speech and identity related.  Did anyone ever consider that thousands of other non-adoptees suffer from the same issues?  What do we blame then?  Actually I’m not so sure blame is my “beef”.  Fine, blame the issues on adoption, but treat them just like any other person…heck, just treat them at all.  Don’t shrug it off with a “wait and see.”  Is that really too much to ask?