Patrick and I have always claimed that we wanted to be available.  We didn’t want to walk away sad like the rich, young, ruler (Luke 18:22).  However, it wasn’t until recently that we realized how unavailable we were.  Closets full of old sentiments, inexcusable debt, and obligations to work and school acted like weighty sand bags in a helium balloon. 

Shortly after the new year, we began to loosen our hold on our stuff…especially the sentimental stuff.  The guys at the Goodwill and I seemed to be on a first name basis as we dropped off van load after van load.  It was like throwing a couple of those sandbags over the side of our balloon.  We started to feel FREE!  We started aiming for a budget closer to our bare-bones-no-income budget of this time last year in an effort to pay down years of accumulated credit card debt.

In some ways, our “work” sand bag went over the side last year with the inception of insquare, LLC.  But what about that “school bag” (pun intended)?

For a variety of reasons, availability being a big one, we decided to homeschool our oldest two next year.  This decision has raised a slew of questions from family and friends so I’ll answer a couple now to satisfy your curiosity.

What about Ty?
Lord-willing, Ty will attend preschool at the school were our older two currently attend for three afternoons a week.  Since he’ll be home the majority of the time, he’ll very much be along for the homeschool adventure.

Have you decided on curriculum?
Curriculum choices are a work in progress but we will be using the same classical model that is used at their current school.  The classical model divides children’s development into three stages (or the trivium) and utilizes methods best fit for each stage to instill a love of and skill for lifelong learning.  One of my favorite sites on classical education is here where you can read more.  There is a good chance we will be using Classical Conversations for next year so help bridge the transition from traditional school to homeschool.  It’s a national organizaton so if you’re a homeschooling family, you should definitely check it out.  After that, I have a lot of ideas that don’t quite fit into a set curriculum and you can be sure I’ll blog about them as the year approaches or plays out so stay tuned!

How did your kids handle the news?
The kids handled the news with the same grace and sense of adventure we’ve come to expect from them.  We had been preparring them for the possibility for a couple weeks so the final decision was not a shock.  They are sad to be leaving a school we all adore, but they know schooling choices are a one-year-at-a-time now and are excited to see what next year brings. 

Ok, so those are the top three, I think.  I’m sure you’ll let me know if I missed any

The other day on our fourth snow day home in almost as many days, I decided it was probably time to clean up their room, wash their sheets, and vacuum.  Not necessarily in that order.

We only do their room on a day when they’re all around to help.  With school, that means it usually happens on days off.

Our workflow:

1.  Each child clears off the top of his/her respective dresser, dusts, and puts the stuff back in a neater way than it came off. This is also a great time to trash clutter.  Ty obviously needs a little bit of help but since he only has 3 or 4 things on top of his set of crib drawers, it’s really not bad.  We also dust all the other surfaces in the room.
2. I give a warning that vacuuming comes next and anything on the floor in my way will get tossed.
3. I vacuum.  Mostly I do this so I can enforce the previous step’s threat.  Sometimes I just inspect and then have PJ vacuum.  As soon as Roomba is ressurected, he’ll go back to vacuuming duty.
4. Each kid strips his/her respective bed down to the matress and takes the pillows out of the cases.
5. I wash the bedding.
6. I make the beds.
7. The kids get their respective stuffies back on the beds.
8. I inspect the floor and sometimes re-vacuum.

Do your kids help with cleaning?  What’s your workflow (with or without kids)?

The idea grew from an activity that Focus’ Thriving Family website promoted–LOVE BINGO.  They recommended reading 1 Cor. 13 to your kids and then playing LOVE BINGO which can be found here.

I decided to take it one step further with our kids. 

Sometime this week, we’ll read 1 Cor. 13.  Then using the blank card provided, we’ll brainstorm tangible ways we can show our love to others.  I’ll make 3 copies of the newly-created BINGO card (1 for each kid).  We’ll hang them up on Feb. 1st and let the games begin.  Each time one of the kids demonstrates one of the actions we’ve listed on the card, they’ll get to mark it off with a dabber or sticker or stamp.  The first kid to get BINGO, will get a prize.  Actually we’ll probably do a prize for each kid as he gets BINGO.

What prize will we use?  Well, I haven’t thought that far ahead.  Probably candy or small amount of money.

But I digress.

When PJ, and then Mia, came along, I strove to provide them with healthy choices and forced required them to eat a fruit or veggie with each meal, drink milk at dinner and water at other times, and finish a given meal before other stuff could be eaten.  Sometimes that meant eating unfinished dinners at breakfast or unfinished breakfast at snack time.  That philosphy resulted in 2 slightly picky (since they really only eat carrots and cucumbers for veggies) or 2 above average (when you consider they love sushi and other ethnic foods) eaters–depending on your perspective.

Along came Ty.  The change of culture plus his aversion to certain textures plus his inability to focus or sit still plus his ability to hold food in his mouth for an amount of time that would put a gerbil to shame had me scrambling for a new feeding philosophy.

That’s when I found…

While I don’t want to subscribe to her philosphy hook, line, and sinker (mostly because it requires too much energy on my part), I really like her philosophy a lot.  I also agree with it.  I will say it feels risky to believe her and I think it’s easy to insert our doubts and mess up the practical application of the theory.  I do love that she isn’t radical about making kids eat certain things or about eliminating anything.  I think kids that are fed her way will do well as adults in the long run.  I like that she addresses manner associated with eating as important as eating.  I like that the basis for her theory is that kids should be raised towards eventually being independent and making smart decisions on their own.

In my opinion every parent or future parents should at least read this and then decide from there.

Anyone else read this book?  Thoughts?

I remember being pretty impressed by her intentionality as I considered how often I shooed off my kids impatiently as I hurried to finish editing a shoot, put a couple of work hours in, or just wanted to check my Facebook page.  I also remember thinking I wanted to try it.  But with only one of my two kids in school (and only 4 1/2 hours per week at that), it seemed impractical and impossible.

Fast forward at least 3 years and another kid later.

Now I have one gone 5 full days and another gone 5 half days.  Time for Operation Intentional.

For me, that means that once PJ hops into the car in carpool, I go M.I.A. to the rest of the world until the kids are in bed.  I may check my email once to make sure nothing urgent came in, and I’ll probably screen voicemails because Murphy tells me that some kind of emergency will happen if I’m super-connected all day and go M.I.A. for only a short time.  Yes, I’m that kind of paranoid.  So please don’t be offended if you try to get a hold of between 3PM and 8PM and I don’t respond.  I’m probably helping with homework or just eating Rita’s.  Unless of course it’s the middle of winter and Rita’s isn’t open.  But you get the picture.

It also means you have my permission to yell at me if you get an email from me during that time or see me on Facebook or if I actually answer your call.

*If you have no idea who I’m talking about,  click here.

I was reminded again today.  “Murphy was a genius.”

As a general rule, we’re very up front and honest with our kids. 

If I throw away something by accident (or on purpose) and they ask about it, I tell them what happened and apologize if necessary.

If I decide not to do something they want to do just because I don’t want to (or I’m too lazy), I don’t make up some feel good reason.  I have no problem being the bad guy.

If someone dies, we don’t dance around the issue.  Some of our best conversations come out of these situations. 

Oops…I almost got on a soapbox.  Returning to reality (and the point of this post).

If the kids get invited to a birthday party and I have to RSVP in the negative, I tell them anyway (even though they’ll be dissappointed).  I figure it’s better for them to hear it from me than from the grapevine.  (And yes, there is a grapevine in kindergarten.)  But, truth be told, I’ve probably dissappointed them tens of times unecessarily and they probably would’ve been non-the-wiser because the grapevine is pretty spotty at age 5…except today.

Mia got an invite to a party for a classmate for this coming weekend.  It would’ve been birthday party #2 for the weekend.  Patrick doesn’t do birthday parties so it would’ve meant me and the three kids for the second seventh day in a row following a week when we’ve all been under the weather.  I’ll be honest.  I just didn’t feel up to it.  I even looked at the guest list to see how many people I’d know there.  It wasn’t enough.  I RSVP’d “NO” and never mentioned a word to Mia.  I just didn’t have the energy after being sick all week to deal with it.

Fast foward 2 hours to the grocery store.  We run into one of her classmates.  (Just for the record, that never* happens). 

*except today…thanks, Murphy

My friend asks, “Will we see you at the birthday party Sunday?” 

Mia’s ears perk up.  She asks, “What birthday party, Mom?”

She gets her whine on as she hears me say, “Nope, but we’ll see you at the back-to-school picnic next Tuesday.”

I fumble as I try to justify why she’s not going.  I end up pulling the Mean Mommy, “Because Mommy doesn’t want to, that’s why.”

And I’ll say it again, “Murphy was a genius.”

Mostly, people mean, “How is Ty adjusting?”

Adjustment, attachment, bonding–such complicated subjects.

After a couple days home, we were super-excited that we had left the constant, incosolable crying in Korea.  After a couple months home, he was sleeping through the night, calling me “mom,” loving the older kids, and seemingly attached all around.  On all accounts, he seemed to be adjusted, bonded, and attached, and we had all emerged relatively unscathed. 

Or so we thought.

After about 6 months home, we realized that Ty had been functioning in some kind of shock-induced fog as his true personality replaced the kid we thought we knew.

Every time we though we had “arrived” something else would happen.  One day he started spontaneous affection which I didn’t realize was missing until he started doing it.  Previously he would offer endless hugs and kisses but only if I was asking. 

Lately Ty’s senses of humor and drama seems to be the next invisible milestones up which we are encroaching.  All of a sudden, he is quite the jokster and give us pieces of his mind complete with dramatic sighs and hands on hips.

The coolest milestone?  Realizing that I actually liked Ty.  I’ve spent so much time disciplining, dragging him to doctors and evaluations, trying to understand him, disciplining, catching him up cognitively, doing damage control around the house, and finding precious moments of quiet time that it’s only just recently that I’ve really come to appreciate his personality and sense of humor.  I’m finally starting to enjoy him more than I resent him.

Here’s to the next invisible milestone that is hiding around the corner!

NOTE:  Ty came home at 2 1/2.  He’s been home for a little over a year.  Rule of thumb: multiply his homecoming age by 2 to get the age at which he will likely be all caught up or the age at which we will exit the fog   Therefore, we still have almost a year and a half of invisible milestones awaiting us.

I love reading these posts at other blogs because it makes me feel “normal” or at least like I’m not the only crazy one out there.  Head over to MckMama’s blog to read more.  Happy Laughing!

If you lived in my house, you may hear me saying…

“If you need to poop, please get back on the potty.  If you get down and poop in your pants, there will be a consequence.  Please do not dip your bottom in the toilet water.”

“Please don’t sit on my head.  That would be fabulous.”

“Mommy’s sleeping right now.  Give me 4 more minutes.  Then I’ll help you.”

“Mia, we cannot be emotionally attached to bows.”

“The toilet rim is not a drum. Please stop and go wash your hands.”

“No, we cannot go to the rainforest right now. Because it’s too far away…that’s why.”

What have you caught coming out of your mouth lately?

I love Legos and all the educational opportunities they provide.  I love the creativity they inspire.  I love that they don’t need batteries.  I get paid to play with Legos.  Robotic Legos.  (Don’t hate me too much).  So I often have Legos on the brain.

PJ needs things to keep his brain busy.  I adapted an idea from www.legoeducation.com and came up with his new favorite brain game.

Gather the following Lego bricks…

Whites
1–1×6
2–2×2
1–2×4
1–2×8

Reds
2–1×2
5–2×2
4–2×4
1–2×10

Yellows
4–2×4
1–2×3
2–2×2
3–1×2

Greens
1–1×2
3–2×2

Blues
1–2×2
5–2×4
1–2×10

Grays
2–1×2
1–1×8

Print out this picture.

See how long it takes your child to arrange the Legos to match the picture.

Notes:

1. There are probably more than one solution.  Contact me if you want a picture of my solution.
2.  This is probably best for children 6 and older.
3. PJ has a flat 16×16 base that he works on.  That’s how big the above picture is.
4. If you don’t have all the bricks I listed, just make up your own.  I used excel to make my diagram.  
5. To make it easier, print out the gridlines or make it smaller.  That way younger siblings can play, too.
6. Ignore the misalignment of the blue block with the reds in the bottom right.  That’s my pdf printer acting funny.

When I say, “Move!” it really means, “Get up and get out of my way, now!”  It does not mean scooch two inches or just wiggle your body.

When I say, “Dinneris ready,” it means, “Stop what you are doing, wash your hands, and report to the table.”  It does not mean continue playing and report when you feel like it.

Just so we’re clear.