Race, Riots, and Relationship

The facts:

1. Freddie Gray was a black young man who was arrested and died in police custody.

2. Freddie’s death sparks protests which then turn violent and create a crazy, downward spiral throughout Baltimore City.

3. We own a coffee shop in the heart of the city.

4. We are a part of a church community in the heart of one of the most troubled areas of the city.

5. We have a black son who has already been the target of racism (in a church no less).

6. The yucky stuff has been around since Adam and Eve and will continue to be until Jesus returns.

7. God is still in control and desires both justice and righteousness (Thank you, Pastor George).

The Thoughts:

I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the situation at hand in view of our training in trauma and relational intervention. In such emotionally charged situations like this, it’s easy for each of us to be sucked in (even if we’re not directly effected).

As we’ve been helping our kids process this, we’ve been talking a lot about remembering that each of the people involved (on both sides) has a story. They are each individual people who God loves. They are individuals each making decisions. We are discouraging them from dehumanizing either side or making broad generalizations. Not all police are brutal and not all black men are guilty. Thousands of people are being impacted and each one has a story.

Sunday, at church, we were reminded that God desires both justice and righteousness. In therapeutic parenting, we attempt to create a similar seeming paradox between structure and nurture. A paradox that only a BIG GOD can accomplish. It’s been very easy over the past couple days to be paralyzed by hopelessness and to join one of the many social media choruses of disgust.

From the wise Dr. Karyn Purvis, what is “harmed in relationship…will come to experience healing in relationship.” These hurts and traumas run deep.

Patrick and I have spent a lot of time thinking about what our response should be as individuals, as a family, as business owners, and as The Church.

We want to think relationally.

We want to cling to the faithfulness of a God who can bring beauty from ashes.

We want to be light in darkness.

We want to have calm, thoughtful conversations about the underlying whys. It’s not as easy as short phrases like “race relations” and “police brutality.”

In other news, Grace had to stare racism directly in the face today. We’re praying about how we can respond that heals using relationship and in a way that is true to our faith. Pray hard because my first reaction was very Mama Bearish.