Not My Child! Monday
Posted By Melissa on August 24, 2009
This Monday is a spin off of MckMama’s Not Me Monday…Not My Child Monday (2.0)!
We would never be crazy enough to take three kids under 7 out to eat in a calm, quiet, diner in Lancaster County. So it was NOT my child who loudly announced that his sister should not use the restroom because “It stinks in there! They need to turn on their air conditioning!” It was also NOT my other child who passed gas, said “excuse me,” and then loudly announced that she needed to say “excuse me” because she tooted.
It was NOT my child waving good-bye to his BM as he flushed it down the toilet. At least he didn’t bow.
It was NOT my child who can be caught saying the following adorable phrases…
…”You could have DEAD him!”
…”Can I _______ for a couple while?”
…”Let’s go catch flyer flies.”
…”Did you take the trash rubber out?” (NOTE: My New England bred IL’s call trash ‘rubbish.’)
…”Mom, I need more toilet.” (She never seems to remember the ‘paper’ part.)
Lastly, my sweet child did NOT analyze the Little Mermaid’s ability to pee (or not to pee) in a public restroom. It would NOT have sounded something like:
MIA: Mom, I wish I were a mermaid so I didn’t have to pee.
MOM: Oh?
MIA: Yeah, mermaids can’t pee. Do you know why?
MOM: Why?
MIA: They don’t have butts! (Said in a matter that can’t seem to understand why I couldn’t jump to this conclusion on my own.)
MOM: True.
MIA: If they peed, it would go in their fins!
The conversation did NOT proceed to explain how mermaids must have feet (and butts) inside their fins. Otherwise how would the witch turn Ariel into a walking person?
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